On the road again!

Yay! Hit the road Wednesday after a couple of weeks staying with my folks in Sacramento. Loaded gear in to the A4 Cab (finally sold the S5, thank God), and hit highway 5 going South. It's a beautiful afternoon, no traffic except for the occasional Winnebago. Just have to say, I love Winnebagos. I've never actually been in one, but what it represents in freedom has always excited me. Although this is tempered by it's gas guzzling tendencies, the symbolism remains. Okay, back to the road: rolling green hills on one side, vast flatlands broken up by orchards and aqua ducts on the other. Cattle going about their business. The sun is starting to set and a few stars appear in the twilight. My new tires hum on the road and nothing disturbs the peacefulness...

So where am I going? Another trip to LA, this time to see family. This is really the beginning of relaxation for me. Upcoming proctorships already set up, my own personal downsizing complete (house rented, appliances sold, only one car), planning already to sleep in tomorrow... Several people have asked if I am excited about my plans for New Zealand, and the answer is yes, but I really am not thinking about it. I am actually so excited about the today, the living in the moment, that I am not even thinking about the future. People ask what I am going to do after, and the answer is the same: dunno, we'll see! This is not something I have always done. I was by nature a planner--this will happen at this time, then this, and now I will plan for that. For the first time, I am taking things as they come, and loving how it all works out without my planning a darn thing!

Seriously, I have been having several Alchemist moments. For those of you not familiar with the book by Paulo Coehlo, the protagonist looks for his destiny, his fulfillment of his greatest potential, but shies away from it when he sees how difficult the journey might be. His fears make it hard for him to trust that the path that is truly his will present itself and everything he needs will appear. Finally, his non-destiny path becomes so difficult itself, he has no choice but to follow his dreams. I remember reading that book on my way to Barcelona almost 3 years ago, thinking that a story about faith and magic is so lovely, but not reality... And now, all I can say is change a few characters and you have my story--I have sold all of my sheep and I am getting ready to board the boat to another land, fulfilling my greatest potential.

Don't get me wrong, I sometimes still have doubts. I see all of my physician colleagues working so hard and I feel guilty, as if to really be an MD I have to continue to run that hamster wheel. If a tree falls where no one hears it, did it really fall? Was it ever a tree? If I don't work to the point of exhaustion and negative effect on my health, does that make me less of a doctor? Nope. I still belong to the club, I just don't visit as often. :)